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The following article was published in our article directory on January 15, 2013.
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3 Pathways of Life - Part 1

Article Category: Self Help

Author Name: John Wagner, LMHC, NCC

Pathways In Our Life Are Spiritual, Environmental & Connection

Part 1 - The Ecstasy of Attraction

Harville Hendrix, makes this observation about marriage. In our society marital relationship is seen as select a mate, climb into a box, settle in and then take your first close look at who you married, if you like what you see. If you do not like what you see, climb out of the box and scout around for another mate.

Whether marital relationship works depends upon your capacity to bring in a great partner. The usual solution to an unhappy marriage is to divorce and start over. Some couples stay in the box, tighten the lid, and put up with an unsatisfactory relationship for the rest of their lives.

Let us propose a more confident view of love relationships. Hendrix states, "Marriage is not some static state between two unchanging people; but rather it is a psychological and spiritual journey that, as romantic love began to play a more substantial role in mate selection, begins in the ecstasy of attraction, meanders through the rocky stretch of self-discovery, and ends in the creation of an intimate and joyful lifelong union. Whether you realize the full potential of this vision, depends not on your ability to attract the perfect mate, but on your willingness to acquire knowledge about hidden parts of yourself". I would contribute to this a readiness to obtain expertise about God's desire for your marriage and yourself.

It would seem that all of us have 3 pathways which we take through life. Actually they all seem to connect to the advancement of romantic love in our lives. If we come to be more aware of exactly how our pathways were established while finding out more about ourselves, we will be better prepared to link with God and our partner in marriage.

One pathway we all have is a spiritual pathway. Our internal mandate in this pathway is to be linked. We have an inner desire, as we go through various developmental stages, to be connected to others and when that connection is not there, we feel empty. We could be able to be alone for a while but then the desire for fellowship of some kind enters our thoughts.

This pathway really starts the minute we are developed. While in our mom's womb, we are connected to her floating in an oceanic happiness of ecstasy. All of our requirements were satisfied, food was provided, and we floated in convenience without any denial. A few of us did experience at some deep level of our psyche the psychological experiences of our mother. If our mother underwent harsh anxiety or depression, there does appear to be proof that we are impacted even while in our mom's womb. Not everybody is influenced because way for we are shielded in the womb in means we will not experience for lots of years.

We were born and our umbilical cord was torn from us and most of us begin a lifetime of rejection and woundedness along with love. Some injuries and rejection were major and some not so major. The point is that we all shared an initial connectedness with our mothers. Our entire life time is a directed to reconnect to that original wholeness again or that original state of being. There is an inner sense of energy where we are joyful and satisfied. We desire that once more.

Our real directed of this spiritual pathway is to be connected with the Father for eternity. When we experience the presence of God with getting in touch with Him and become the person He desires us to be, we get in a deeper level of our lives with Him. I truly think the depth of our link with Him will identify our psychological health as well as our relational health with our partner.

God decided that, since of our desire to be linked, He would provide us "covenant marriage" while we are on this planet. He recognized that with Adam it was bad for him to be alone. God gave him Eve. A relationship based upon a covenant with each other and God where we discover the best ways to adore unconditionally, satisfy our partner's emotional and physical needs, and grow into spiritual maturity. When we become really committed to our partners to heal each other, then we will stop the generational curse and raise healed children.

We have the opportunity to choose the blessings or the curses. We could stay under the curse of generations or we could make a decision to be under the blessings and change history.

-- End of Part 1 --

John Wagner is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and Certified Imago Relationship Therapist in Orlando, Florida. He has advanced expertise in sex addiction and couples counseling. He is highly regarded and sought out by couples around the world who travel to Orlando for his intensive couples counseling and workshops.

Keywords: relationships, marriage, god, therapy, relationship coach, rebuilding relationships

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