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The following article was published in our article directory on April 2, 2013.
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A Powerful Strategy to Improve Your Communication : CC

Article Category: Advice

Author Name: Mario Torres

How can you apply a powerful strategy to improve communication that will sky rocket your personal and professional success?

Communication-- the human connection-- is the key to personal and career success.
- Paul J. Meyer

Communication is everything in our everyday lives. If there is a skill responsible for dictating the amount of success, happiness and fulfillment you will enjoy throughout your life it is certainly the one of communication. Your personal and professional relationships will be either a place of trust, respect and understanding or one of conflict and resentment depending solely on your ability to communicate effectively.

This is why it is so very important for you to learn and apply this powerful strategy to improve communication and strive to become a master at it. Being able to truly understand others and clearly state what you mean will turn you into an asset companies dream of, as a well as an amazing friend and partner.

And although there are many strategies you could implement out there, throughout my years of research of the human mind and human behavior I have found one strategy to improve communication that stands out from the rest. It is called Non Violent Communication, or Compassionate Communication.

This strategy to improve communication was developed my Marshal Rosenberg during the 1960s. It includes a simple 4 step method for empathic, clear communication that aims to find a way for people to obtain what truly matters to them without the use of blame, shame, victimization, threats or aggressive behavior.

What makes Marshal Rosenberg's strategy to improve communication so powerful is the fact that it is based on truly connecting with others, living in a present, conscious way and being attuned to the genuine, living needs of yourself and others.

The 4 steps to applying Marshal Rosenberg's strategy to improve communication, NVC:.

Strategy to Improve Communication Step 1.
State the OBSERVATIONS that have made you feel the need to say something.

Make sure they are purely factual observations, there should be no evaluation or judgment to them. "It's 9:30 and you are watching T.V. although you still haven't done the dishes" is an observation, unlike "You have been lazing around all day get to work will you!", which is a judgment or an evaluation of the situation.

Strategy to Improve Communication Step 2.
State the feeling that the observation is causing in you. (Or guess what the other person is feeling, and ask.).

Giving a name to the emotion allows you to connect in a spirit of cooperation and mutual respect. Make sure you are not judging the emotion or trying to prevent the other person to feel in such a way. For example, "Hey relax, don't be so angry" is judging the emotion the other person is feeling, while "I see you are very angry about ..." is only naming it.

Strategy to Improve Communication Step 3.
Mention the unmet need that triggered the feeling. (Or, guess the need is the cause of the feeling in the other person, and ask.).

By connecting with the feeling we can find the underlying unmet need behind it. Naming the need, without casting judgment on it, gives you clarity about what is alive in the other person and it gives him or her clarity about what is alive in you. Needs are common to all people and they don't have to be met in a specific way.

Wanting to go to a movie with someone is not a need. The need might be companionship in that case. You can meet your need for companionship in many ways, not just with that specific person and not just by going to a movie.

An example of this step would be: "I see that you feel frustrated (feeling) because I have not done the dishes (observation). I think harmony (need) is very important for you".

Strategy to Improve Communication Step 4.
Make a concrete request for action to meet the identified need or offer an action that will meet the other person's need.

Don't hint it trying yo have the other person guess it, and don't just state what you don't want. Allow the other person to say or offer another alternative no

. An example of the full 4 steps process would be as follows:.

Sarah: No, you can't go to the party tonight. You always do what you want to do and you are never at home. I have had enough with your attitude.

Stacey: Mom, I see you are feeling angry (feeling) because I arrived home after 12 Wednesday and Friday (factual observation). Am I right? (Verify by asking).

Sarah: Yes Stacey, it's too much, I don't want you going out as much as you do.

Stacey: I understand Mom. I think you would like us to spend more mother-- daughter time, and I would really like that too. (identify and name the need=communication and appreciation) How about we go out for breakfast tomorrow morning, just the two of us, on me? (concrete action offered to meet the need).

Sarah: I would really like that Stacey, it has been a while since we spent some time together.

Stacey: Sounds like an awesome plan Mom, I can't wait. I promise I'll be home early tonight.

This is a truly powerful, powerful strategy to improve communication. It will take a while for you to master it but as you progress you will find your personal and professional relationships to be more and more a place of mutual respect and harmony. You will find yourself getting what you are after while also helping the other person get what they are after.

Remember that the KEY for this strategy to really work is to truly desire to empathize and connect with the underlying human needs of the person with whom you interact. A spirit of compassion and desire for the other person's well being is an absolute must for this strategy to improve communication to really work it's magic.

I strongly suggest you look more into Non Violent Communication. You can do so by visiting the official website of the Center for Non Violent Communication or by watching their Training Course on YouTube.

May you enjoy fulfilling, joyful and nurturing relationships throughout your life.

Keywords: Strategy to Improve Communication

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