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The following article was published in our article directory on August 3, 2013.
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Signs You Should Break Up

Article Category: Dating

Author Name: Gordon Gooch

We live in a self-help driven culture where we're always being encouraged to "fix our relationships" and "talk things out." Although there's definitely something to be said about communicating openly so you can grow as a couple, sometimes we're so intent on fixing what's wrong, that we ignore the fact that maybe the relationship isn't working because it just isn't the right relationship. Here's 7 signs you should call it quits:
- You've had heart to heart talks about your issues, but nothing has changed – Not so long ago I was seeing this guy whom I really liked, except for the fact that we had communication issues. In order for a relationship to work, I need the lines of communication to be very open. However in this situation, trying to get this guy to even return my text messages felt like I was pulling teeth. We had a talk where I explained that in order for this thing to work, he'd have to at least meet me half-way and communicate openly with me. Things were better for a about a day and then they went back to the status quo. If you've discussed things like "I need you to call me when you get in so that I know you're safe" or "we need to spend more quality time together without the TV turned on to keep the intimacy in the relationship" and the person just ignores your needs, it shows that they don't take you or the future of relationship seriously.
- You don't have anything in common - The plot lines of romantic comedies teach us that "opposites attract." Although this does sometime play out in real life, research has shown that long term relationships have a better chance of being successful if a couple has common interests. When you're in the honeymoon period of a relationship it may seem totally cool that you love to spend your weekends at art openings and trying the latest "it" restaurants, whereas he's way happier staying home, watching back to back football games and eating spaghetti o's – you may even find it endearing. After all, you still have all the hot sex in common right?! However, as the passion cools down, you may start to resent the fact that your partner never wants to do the same things you want to do. If you're already sensing this now, it isn't going to get any better.
- You often cry over your relationship – I you spend more time feeling sad, frustrated and angry, than feeling happy about your relationship, this is a sure fire sign that you should call it quits. Seriously, not every relationship is this hard. It might just be that you're in the wrong one.
- You're not sexually compatible – It's true that sex isn't as important for some people as it is for others. However, if the thought of kissing or getting naked with your partner makes you recoil, there's not much hope for the relationship. It doesn't matter if you love them, think they have an amazing personality or blame yourself ("Maybe the problem is me?")- sex should be something you look forward to doing with the person you're with. Denying yourself of that just isn't fair to you or your partner.
- You always talk about your relationship in terms of "ifs and buts" – It's so easy to say stuff like: "I like him so much but __________ (he drinks too much, I don't trust him, I wish he could get his life together) or "Our relationship would be perfect if ________" (he stopped talking to his ex, got a different career, complimented me more). When you say these things you're basically acknowledging that you're not happy with the person you're dating and who they are right now. Trying to change someone when you're in a relationship with them is a futile process. If you don't like the person exactly as they are, maybe they're just not the right person for you.
- You don't trust them - Do you often catch yourself looking through your partner's phone or email? Do you feel like there's always things they're not telling you? Do you catch yourself saying "I just need to rebuild my trust in him after he _________" (stayed out all night partying with his boys at a strip club/hooked up with his ex/flirted with my friend). Trust is the basic foundation of any relationship. If you're in the beginning of a relationship, you shouldn't be attempting to rebuild it. Instead of trying to build something on a broken foundation, date someone you do trust! And, if you feel like you can't trust anyone, it might be time to do some soul searching and figure out why this is before you bring someone else into the equation.
- You want completely different things out of life – You want to get married, have children and live in a house, whereas your partner is adamant about staying childless, and prefers being un-married in the city to a white picket fence life in the suburbs. Although every relationship requires some compromise, you shouldn't be expected to give up on your dreams and what you really want out of life to be together.

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