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The following article was published in our article directory on November 11, 2013.
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Funeral Songs: How To Select That "Right On The Money" Funeral Music

Article Category: Death

Author Name: Pastor Alex

When selecting the music for a funeral, there are so many church hymns and popular songs to choose from that one can easily feel overwhelmed--so let's "break it down" a bit, shall we?

Once in a while those organizing the funeral may consider music by considering the needs of the bereaved exclusively, but conventional judgment directs that the most beneficial course is to choose to use songs that mirror the nature of the soul that was lived and awakens recollections of their spirit, personality, and all the reasons why we treasured them and will always think of them.

The number one object, intent and goal of music in a funeral therefore is to suitably capture, characterize and eulogize the spirit of a special someone.

When performed gently -- the usual way most of us would expect in a funeral, the music can really influence and direct the feeling of the ceremony by helping remind mourners of a living soul who had a pleasant, gentle, and loving spirit and has now gone ahead to a better locale.

Likewise, music rendered with a more vigorous and soulful flavor may stir up memories of fun, frolic, and merriment that were shared with someone who made you feel great just by standing in their presence.

Even in cases where The Departed One was not really a very considerate person and we might find ourselves more inclined to want to sing, "Ding, Dong, The _____ Is Dead", ethics dictates that we should at least TRY to search for just one thing nice in, about, or around them and reflect that in the songs that are chosen for this occasion.

Now, When It Comes To Actually Picking And Choosing The Music:

The two broad themes to consider are:
"Contemporary/Personal" and "Traditional/Religious".

Most funerals have religious overtones and are conducted in a church or chapel, because even in instances where the deceased wasn't very "churchly", the family often is. That is why the traditional songs chosen for funerals are usually classical or religious, and usually are performed in a somber and soft manner.

These traditional religious songs are typically hymns or songs that have been handed down through generations and are familiar to people who visit church at least semi-regularly -- like once or twice a month.

Should A Funeral Be "Upbeat"?

The normal Christian-based songs have an underlying communication of hope of life-eternal which would speak of both the deceased and the mourners at the service, and it is because of that message that Gospel-style Christian hymns are so joyful, uplifting, and upbeat. In fact, just envisioning the titles alone can make you feel good -- try these: "He'll Understand And Say Well Done", "I Am Bound For The Promised Land", "Mansion Over The Hilltop", and, of course, the ever-popular, "Going Up Yonder".

(In case any of these Gospel titles are not recognizable to you, I've provided for you to listen to a bit of them instantly -- just meander on over to "TheHymns.Net").

These Gospel songs remind us that death is just a transition from this life to the next, where the tears we cry today as a result of a temporary loss of fellowship will turn into exceeding joy because of our gain of eternal interrelationship in paradise, so it's not unusual to hear Gospel music played and sung in many funerals today.

Funeral Songs

Although it is not unheard of these days to step away from traditional songs in order to implement a wish of The Departed or someone very close to them, it is crucial that if you are going to do so you should make sure to write the reason in the obituary pages or have someone verbally explain to the mourners why this song is included, especially if it might appear to the average person to be such a complete deviation from the norm that they would be offended-- thinking that someone is being bad-mannered .

It is also essential that you speak with those nearest to the deceased if you are seeking a more personalized selections of songs over a more traditional set. You may want to ask a parent or a spouse, or a brother, sister, or good friend who can suggest songs that the deceased may have loved at earlier points in their life.

Need Songs For The "Marches"?

You should also regard that there are spots for three or four more songs in the time of the "funeral marches". There's the march of family members as they enter the tabernacle, there's another procession when they walk past the coffin, a third one is as they leave the church, and a fourth could be as the casket is being taken from the church.

Depending upon customs and/or preferences and/or beliefs, these songs can be totally peaceful and solemn, or totally stiring and celebrating, or at any point in between.

Graveside Music, Yes Or No?

Sometimes, as a final parting tribute, families might want a family member or friend to play a song or sing at the time of interment.

If there is a non-traditional song that someone close to the deceased wanted done but you felt it questionable for use in the chapel or church service, here at this point would be a good place to have them do it. Otherwise you can get good ideas from the minister in charge of the graveside ceremony, or the funeral director, or the music minister for your church, or simply leave it out.

I have been a party to many services where no music at all was done at the graveside, and I've never heard anyone say anything about it.

I hope this helps,
Pastor Alex


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Keywords: Funeral Songs, Funeral Music

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