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SpinDistribute.com Article Directory
« Back to articles from category "Advice"The following article was published in our article directory on December 19, 2016.
Learn more about SpinDistribute Article Distribution System.
These 5 Steps Will Result In A Forgiveness Victory
Article Category: Advice
Author Name: Linda Clay
Learning how to forgive, as we talked about in my last blog, is not only DIFFICULT but until you practice forgiveness, it's a BALL AND CHAIN wrapped around your body, weighing you down. Yet, it is one of the most desirable things you can do for your health and life.
I remember when I carried those BALLS AND CHAIN myself, how loaded down I felt. It truly felt like I carried extra weight on my back, I felt bent over, tired and snappy. Depending on the circumstance, it really can seem like an insurmountable mountain to climb.
I get it!
You're not alone, many people struggle with forgiveness. They may not talk about it but, TRUST ME, there are people all around you that struggle with forgiving. Hurt, mistrust, blame, being stab in the back and the loss of faith are thoughts and feelings that hard to get over.
I've experienced it, the pain, the hurt, the mistrust and the tight hold on not forgiving someone. I found 5 steps that helped me to smash the debilitating hold, forgive, release the anger and stress so I could go back to really living life. I'm sharing them with you, in case, you find yourself being dragged down by the BALL AND CHAIN of not forgiving.
Step 1: Let it hurt
The first step to forgiveness is to let the pain soak in. I know you're thinking "What! You want me to feel the pain? Seriously, Linda?"
I know it sounds incredibly harsh, however, it's one of THE most important steps.
You actually need to take time to sit alone and think about what has transpired between you and the person who YOU need to forgive.
Unfortunately, this isn't the EASIEST step and might be considered the most PAINFUL one in the process, after all you need to revisit the situation from all sides. YEP, ALL SIDES! Definitely not easy when there are hurt feelings involved but it moves quickly.
Step 2 : Let it heal
The next step in the process is to let the wound heal. You need time and MORE TIME to get away from the situation.
Look at things you can do that are healthy and will take your mind off of what happened. The more time you can spend away, the quicker you'll heal.
Remember TIME is one of the greatest healers.
Once you are able to start healing, things get easier. You'll find as each day passes, the pain lessens, your feelings are getting under control and the constant nagging on your shoulders that you haven't forgiven the other person is slowly dimming into the background.
Step 3: Let it go
This is a much EASIER step for some, but for others it's A HARD one. This is the BIGGEST step in the entire process, and is instrumental in making sure the last two steps go smoothly. You need to ACCEPT what has happened and forgive the other person, internally.
I'll repeat that statement. "You need to accept what has happened and forgive the other person, internally."
You're not saying it aloud, only to yourself. Breathe deeply, let it out and let the words soak in. In the end, you just know in your heart that you forgive the other person, and you are ready to move on with life. Breathe in and let it out.
Step 4: Let is show
The best way to let it show is to verbally apologize. Yep, you have to SWALLOW your pride, which I know can be hard and either call or go to the person you hold a grudge against, and apologize and MEAN IT! They need to hear you say it, and even if they don't accept it, it is okay, you did your part by apologizing.
Step 5: Let it flow
Let life start to flow again without any grudges. You have personally chosen to act with forgiveness, you've apologized, and now it is time that you MOVE ON with your life.
This means, you've let it go, you'll no longer have long nights wondering "WHY" anything happened. No more getting upset over the little things that happened in the past or nurturing those hurt feelings, ruminating over and over again because 'POOF' they are gone!
No one ever regrets saying "I'm sorry for hurting you". However, people always regret the loss of time spent together and having to say the words "I'm sorry, I've missed you."
"The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world." - Marianne Williamson
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